Intimacy with Jesus is possible. It is real. I know that now.
But for almost forty years of living as a Christian, all I had done was wonder what those other Christians or Christian discipleship books were talking about.
I prayed. I read the Bible often, and sometimes I was given helpful truths to hold on to for that day. I loved God and had seen what he’d done for me and how I had come through some very difficult times because of his faithfulness.
My faith was the real thing. I was the real thing. However, I had not experienced that oneness with God that I had heard about. It wasn’t talked about at church that often, nor did sermons explain how this intimacy with Jesus was accomplished. I just read about it in some passages in the New Testament where knowing God sounded fantastic. It sounded like friendship. It sounded like love. It sounded like being closer than with even a best friend or my husband. And trustworthy people would tell me in passing that they asked God about what to do, and that they were guided by him.
But how was this accomplished? I hoped it would eventually develop. It didn’t occur to me to just flat out ask someone who seemed to know. Or maybe I was embarrassed to ask something I might be already supposed to know. I guess that was because the whole concept just didn’t come up much in my day-to-day life as a believer. And usually, when I prayed, Jesus was over there somewhere in the room. Or maybe up above me.
Sometimes he was next to me. I did have times I had a quiet sense that I was OK or a tiny internal voice directing me or reassuring me. Before the last year however, I could count on one hand the number of times that happened. It was impressive when it did! I heard a quiet voice in my mind years ago, when I asked myself if I was pregnant after waiting years for a baby, saying that I was and that she was a girl. Another time, Jesus dropped a verse into my head to tell me he cared, when I was sobbing in the shower over the suffering I was in.
I prayed and asked God to help me forgive, or for someone to be healed, or thanked him for my daily bread. And I would ask and things would happen. I kept a prayer journal for quite a few years, and its several pages were filled with answers. So I knew God did listen and get involved at times.
There were other deep longings I had that I prayed for many years that were not answered, and like many people, I didn’t know what to make of that. How did that fit in with a deep connection and relation with God? I never got an explanation. I knew the prayer request had to be within God’s will, because it was something basic like “Please let so and so know your love.” How is that not a prayer that God would answer?
But all of that prayer, as essential as it was, was still just a back and forth transaction, if you will. Most of the time, I did not think that God was right next to me, walking with me, nor did I know for sure if he was responding to my questions or when he was letting me know something important.
But finally, after forty plus years, this has changed.
Now I experience that intimacy with Jesus which is a free offer. It is available to anyone who wants it. Just like grace is. And being connected with Jesus daily is a remedy, a companionship, a resource for daily needs. That is part of the meaning of intimacy, is it not?
There truly is more to your relationship with God than going through the motions and hoping for the best. Intimacy with the God of the universe and the friend who sticks closer than a brother is available. There is a growing relationship with Jesus, fueled by time spent with him. You can know that his love for you is the most real and true thing you can experience.
Next letter, I will share what I’ve been shown.